XANXUS: Owner's manual and guide
by largofan
Summary: Saw a lot of them and got inspired, might do more


Largofan: Okay, this was inspired by all the Owner manual's out there, I've decided to start with the Varia, and if I'm any good at this, I might do other characters

Lussuria: Ufu, as always, don't own, don't sue, no money.

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**Owner's guide and Maintanence Manual to XANXUS unit**

Congratulations on purchasing and recieving your very own XANXUS unit. So you know how to activate and care for your unit, at least we hope you are reading this with a deactivated unit, other wise, please call 1-800-XANXUS asap for your own safety.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Xanxus and/or Boss, we at the Vongola Manufacturer, Varia Division highly recommend not calling the unit anything besides this, because it might become violent and destroy stuff.

Age: All XANXUS units are designed to be 24, unless you have purchased the TYL! model or the ultra rare collecters Pre-cradle incident model

Date of manufacture (This will be the day your unit believes to be it's Birthday): October 10th

Height: 6'4'

Weight: 198lbs

Place of Manufacture: Vongola Maunfacturer, Varia Division

**Your XANXUS unit comes with the following:**

3 button up, white, long sleeved shirts

3 black ties

3 pairs of black, leather pants

1 set of hair ornaments, already attached

1 pair of black boots that zip up the sides

1 black belt with silver Varia belt buckle

2 custom X guns

1 black suit for formal situations

1 cheek swab

Note: Other accessories can be purchased for your unit at our website www. VongolaManufactures. com/VariaDivision/XANXUS

**Activation:**

We hope your unit was delivered to you deactivated as it should be, for safety reasons, since your unit is an Assassin type. First, please get the cheek swab out of the bag and swab the inside of your cheek. If you look at the back of your unit's neck, you will see a small hole at the base of the hair line, insert swab there. Please do not forget to do this, this will disallow your unit to hurt you or run away in hopes of fulfilling it's dreams of becoming the tenth boss of the Vongola and will give you some amount of control over the unit. Once the swab is inserted, your unit should activate, if not, please call 1-800-XANXUS

**Programming:**

Your XANXUS unit comes with multiple useful functions

Assassin: Assassination is what the XANXUS unit was made for, simply give the XANXUS unit a target and let him go. (Note: We at the Vongola Manufacturers, Varia Division hold no liability if your XANXUS unit is arrested for murder with you being arrested for having it murder for you.)

Bodyguard: Have some pesky bullies hasseling you, not any more, with the XANXUS unit's rugged apperance, short temper, and skill, he will make short work of those bullies. (Note: We at the Vongola Manufacturers, Varia Division hold no liability if your XANXUS unit is arrested for assult)

Tutor: Not doing so well in school, as with the entire VARIA PLAY SET, the XANXUS unit is extremely intelligent and with the right amount of persuasion, should help you.

Boyfriend/Escort: Need a date or trying to make an ex-boyfriend jealous? With his rugged good looks, the XANXUS unit is perfect.

**You're XANXUS unit comes with the following modes:**

Serious (Default)

Bored

Amused

Annoyed (Default)

Angry

Homicidal

Scheming

Sadistic

Note: Other modes, such as Yaoi and OOC can be purchased at our web site, www. VongolaManufacturer. com/VariaDivision/XANXUS

Annoyed: Your XANXUS unit enters this mode so easily it is considered a second default and you will not always know what caused your XANXUS unit to enter this mode, just try to appease him.

Angry: If your XANXUS unit is not appeased when he is in his Annoyed mode, he might shift into Angry mode, in which he will throw magically appearing shot glasses at your head, but if you activated him right, none should hit you. If they do, please contact us at 1-800-XANXUS

**Relations with other units:**

SUPERBI SQUALO: This unit is the XANXUS unit's second in command and one of the closest things to a friend the XANXUS unit has. The SUPERBI SQUALO unit is excedingly loyal to the XANXUS unit

THE VARIA PLAYSET: All units in the VARIA PLAYSET (Note: Playset includes XANXUS, SUPERBI SQUALO, PRINCE BELPHEGOR, MAMMON, LUSSURIA, and LEVI-A-THON units) are extremely loyal to the XANXUS unit

SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI: This unit is your XANXUS unit's rival and should be avoided

TIMEOTO/NINTH VONGOLA: This unit is your XANXUS unit's adoptive father, and your unit feels more then a bit betrayed by it

**Cleaning:**

The XANXUS unit is capable of cleaning itself and we would suggest letting him, however, if you are insistant about cleaning the unit yourself, it cannot harm you, but note it can destroy your bath room.

**Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) and Troubleshooting:**

Question: My XANXUS unit keeps calling me trash, how do I get him to quit it?

Answer: The XANXUS unit refers to almost everyone as trash, so don't be alarmed, unless you get the OOC programing for your XANXUS unit, he will continue to do so.

Question: My XANXUS unit doesn't look right, his hair is longer and his hair ornaments are smaller.

Answer: You recieved the TYL! model. This model is known to be even more finiky about his food then the original model. Feel free to keep this model or send it back in exchange for the original model, free of charge.

Question: My XANXUS unit keeps abusing my SUPERBI SQUALO unit, now do I get him to stop?

Answer: You can't, it's part of his programing, don't worry, your SUPERBI SQUALO unit can handle it, they where designed with this in mind.

Question: My XANXUS unit disappeared a couple of nights and last night he disappered and hasn't returned, what happened?

Answer: It seems that your unit has joined up with a other members of the VARIA PLAY SET, RING BATTLE SET (which includes GOLA MOSCA unit) and engaged a VONGOLA FAMILIGIA 10TH GENERATION PLAY SET in a battle and lost, when this happened, your unit was probably apprehended. Never fear though, he will return eventually, but it also means you didn't activate it right, please call 1-800-XANXUS

**Warrenty:**

With proper care and maintenace your XANXUS unit should far out live you, so please make sure to make it clear who you want to have it after your death to keep cat fights from breaking out

**Disclaimer:** Vongola Manufacturers, Varia Division holds no responsiblity for any crimes you have your unit commit or if you pair your unit with a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit or a PRINCE BELPHEGOR unit and get charged with aiding in Satutory Rape.


End file.
